And If By Chance
by Silver Evenstar
Summary: Kyou is the outcast of his family just because he's the cat. For that, he hates everyone, expecially women. When Tohru is brought to the house as a 'slave', will she break Kyou's hard shell, or will Yuki get to her first? [Finished,TBC]
1. I Would Come To Live Here

And If By Chance ... By: Samu-chan Rating: PG-13 (for now) Warnings: Slavery (Not beating and field working until you die slavery mind you. ^^; ) A/N: Boredom ... lots of anime ... it's my great fuel for writing. This is my first attempt at a Fruits Basket fic. This story doesn't run off the series though. It's more based into the past. It's also in Tohru's point of view. The curse still exists and such, it's mostly set in a different time. Anyway ... I begin! ^^;  
  
And If By Chance ... I Would Come To Live Here.  
  
My family had always been based on service. It was kind of odd. The family who 'controlled' us, had a huge business. We liked our life. Never had we ever been treated wrongly. They fed us well, kept us clean and dry. Even beds. Not many familles got to work and stay together either. We didn't mind working for the Xing family. But sometimes, all good things come to an end. Corruption erupted in their family, and they lost everything. The only thing they could do to keep money, was to sell us.  
  
My father was the first to go. He went to another rich company who worked in the fields. From what I had heard, he would be well taken care of. Most slaves, nowadays, were. I guess the term 'slave', never really meant anything, until the fact that your being sold. I was next. Since I was only sixteen, the Xing family wanted to make sure I would go somewhere they knew they could trust. Though I heard many arguments in the room before me, the head of the Xing family finally emerged from the room.  
  
He didn't say anything. I figured it was hard to sell another person. So far, slavery had only been questioned. It could still take years before it would become either destroyed, or continued without any questions for the future. He simply led me to a boy. Most likely no older than I was. His hair was an unusual color. Almost a metallic color. And his eyes were a shocking violet. I don't know when I lost my train of thought, but when I had finally broken out of my daze, I was walking beside the boy.  
  
I didn't even remember leaving the house that had been my life. I never got to say good-bye to my mother. I hoped she would be all right. She was strong. I guess I was feeling a bit weak at that moment though, and tears easily fit themselves into my eyes, but yet ... they refused to shed. To a point, my own mind was unwilling to let them shed. I was going to a new home. I would live. I wanted to see the day when I could see my mother again. I had become so wrapped up into my thoughts, I didn't notice that the boy was watching me intently.  
  
"Excuse me ... but what's your name?" I blinked the daze from my eyes, before forcing my shy blue eyes to meet his violet. He smiled when our eyes finally met, and I could do nothing but blush. He was rather handsome when he smiled.  
  
"I'm Tohru Honda. It's nice to meet you." I finally got my own voice to work. He seemed to smile even more at me when I finally answered him. Curiosity must have shone in my eyes with questions, and he seemed to read every single one of them.  
  
"I am Yuki Sohma. My older cousin Shigure decided to pay back his favor to the Xing family. He agreed to take you in, even though we don't really want a maid. But it might be nice to have someone around to help keep the house clean." I found his choice of words odd. Instead of need ... he used the word want. But since Sohma-kun had obviously started a conversation, I pushed the thoughts from my mind, and returned engaging in the conversation.  
  
I had been so wrapped up in the conversation, I never noticed the lone house we had begun to approach. When Sohma-kun stopped abruptly, I was startled and walked right into his chest. I guessed at the time, it was a mistake, but before I could even utter an apology, I found myself staring down at Sohma-kun's clothing, and the rat that sat on them. I couldn't even stutter now, and I think he noticed, for I heard the rat sigh.  
  
"This was something I was planning to talk to you about ... Can you sit down?" I dumbly stared at him as a lowered myself to the ground. He seemed a bit nervous, but I guess I was too. He finally crawled up onto my leg. Somewhere along the line he mutter a sorry, and continued with story. His family was cursed. They could never hold someone they loved ... for both the curse, and the head of their house, Akito. He told me to stay away from the main house, where Akito resided. He wouldn't have taken nicely to me.  
  
From his position on my leg, I guessed he was upset. Most people probably would have run off screaming, and if I had wanted, I could have even been free. But have always thought of everyone else first. My first initial reply once I understood, was to grab him and let a squeal, and even a little kawaii.  
  
"Would you mind placing me back down. Once I change back, I'm going to have to get dressed awfully quick." I blushed deeply, placing him back down beside his clothing before turning my back. Not even a minute later, I heard a familiar hiss, the smell of smoke, and then a hand on my shoulder. My mind went back into it's haze as we entered his house. I remember small bits and pieces of meeting Shigure-kun, who happened to be the dog of the zodiac.  
  
What I probably remember most though ... was the bits and small glances I saw of him. My first week at the Sohma house, was basically learning. Where things were or went. I seemed to please both Sohma-kun and Shigure-kun. They continued to comment on my good cooking, and how much cleaner the house was. I was already beginning to feel happy again. But he always stood out. I never saw him for more than a few moments, but it was impossible not to notice him.  
  
He was another of Shigure-kun's cousins. Unlike Sohma and Shigure-kun, who's hair and eyes were more neutral colors ... his seemed to blaze about the house. He had orange hair that seemed to stand out even more against his black shirt he always wore. From what little I could draw from Sohma- kun, he was the cat. The truly cursed one of the family. I could tell that he and the cat didn't get along from the way he spoke about him, as though he was vile.  
  
I even noticed that Shigure-kun never spoke to him. Sohma-kun refused to let me know his name, and told me it would be best to stay away from him. 'He has a horrible temper. He doesn't know how to care, and doesn't like to be bothered. Most of all ... he hates girls.' I repeated the sentence Sohma- kun had stated days before to keep myself away from him. He often ate after or even before us, but I couldn't help but notice, that one night, after an obvious fight with Sohma-kun that morning, that he had not removed himself from the his room.  
  
Even if he hated me for no reason, my worry for others easily won over Sohma-kun's request. After Sohma-kun had made his way to bed, I made a small tray of food. I thanked the gods for giving me grace when it came to food. I all to often was a klutz. After only being here for a week, I already made both Sohma and Shigure-kun change into their animals multiple times. Pushing down my guilt, I knocked on his door. No answer. I guess I had begun to worry, because I opened his door swiftly to find an empty room.  
  
Confusion clouded my head again as a placed the tray down on a desk near the door. The room was a bit messy, but other than that, was rather plain ... except for all the books. I stared in amazement at the books. I don't remember how, or how fast ... but I was over to them in a flash, looking through them quickly, a bright smile plastered on my face. I had no idea of what stood behind me, until I finally put the book back and turned to leave.  
  
I had decided to leave the tray in his room, to let him eat it if he desired. I had no idea that because he was the cat, he could move a silently as one too. I found my face nearly smashed into black. My eyes very slowly moved up the chest to meet burning red eyes. I froze when he growled at him, only my mouth opening just enough to let out a small 'eep'.  
  
"What are you doing in here!?" ********************  
  
Rather bland at the moment, but the next chapter is going to be in Kyou's point of view. I'll probably go back and forth evenly between them, just so this isn't going to be one sided. ^^  
  
Disclamier: I don't own Fruits Basket ... but believe me ... I wouldn't mind owning Kyou! @.@ 


	2. I Can't Come To Ignore You

And If By Chance ... By: Samu-chan Rating: PG-13 (for now) Warnings: Slavery (Not beating and field working until you die slavery mind you. ^^; ), language A/N: Like I mentioned before, this chapter will run on Kyou's point of view. I don't think I have anything big to write about this time, except thanks to those who reviewed!!! Oh and I dunno if strawberries are Kyou's favorite fruit, but it will be for this story. ^^;  
  
And If By Chance ... I Can't Come To Ignore You.  
  
I've never liked people. Ever since my mother's death, and my father's abandonment of me ... I've done my best to avoid people. When Shigure brought me to his home, I thought maybe my luck would change. No such luck. Not only do I have to deal with that kuso nezumi, even Shigure ignores me. I guess I was just meant to be alone. It doesn't bother me anymore. I'm used to it. I'm happy with it too I suppose. What little attention I get, is usually a fight with that rat. I still have yet to beat him, but I'll do it.  
  
Over the years, I guess I've gotten good looking. Some girls swoon over me ... from what I hear anyway. Not like they do with that rat though. He beats me when it comes to everything but cooking. I don't really consider that a skill though, I have no choice to be good. It's either that, or starve. But when it comes to girls, I couldn't care less anyway. I hate them even more than I do with just people. Maybe it's the fact I could never get close to one anyway. Doesn't matter. I don't care.  
  
After living in this house for years, I never expected the population to grow. I can still remember the day the rat brought that girl home with him. He was known for bringing home girls though, so I never really paid attention. He probably didn't even have to try with this one. She seemed to follow him in a happy mood. A bright smile with bright blue eyes. A brunette too. His favorite. I simply rolled my eyes and went back to my star gazing on the roof.  
  
Two days passed, and I noticed a new smell flowering through the house. Strawberries. My favorite fruit. It was everywhere. And it was starting to piss me off too. I had no idea where it was coming from. That's when I noticed something. Other smells had begun in the house too. In the morning and at night. The house looked a lot cleaner as well. I decided to start to pay attention. It was then I got glances of her. The girl that rat brought home. I think it rather surprised me.  
  
She seemed happy enough. Always talking with Shigure or the rat. Of course, she never made any attempts towards me. It wasn't like I gave her any chances though either. I'd just prefer to continue on my path of ignorance. Besides, even if I had wanted her attention, the rat had brought her home, so no doubt he had left her warnings of my temper. If she was living here too, I was sure she knew of the curse. Since I was the outcast of the family, I didn't expect anything.  
  
Maybe that's where I went wrong in my thinking. A few mornings later, I decided to see if that wonderful smell was coming from her. It was kind of a no brainier. Maybe just an excuse to actually see her face to face. As I went to open the guest room which Shigure gave her, of all times to pick a fight himself, the rat showed up. Another fight, another lose. I had no idea why I kept losing to him. I had trained so much longer than he had. That was also pissing me off.  
  
I pretty much locked myself into my room that day. My pride had been wounded again. By noon, I was starving, but I refused to leave my room to eat. My stubbornness was bad for me I suppose, but that wasn't going to change facts. I refused to budge from my spot on the roof. It wasn't until after dark, that I heard something moving around in my room. It was probably that rat again, looking for a fight again. He was going to get it this time.  
  
I jumped silently into my window, and nearly fell out of it when I caught sight of what stood before me. There stood the object I had been looking for early, standing in front of my book shelf. She looked so pleased with what I had. There were only fighting books and such, no big deal. She couldn't have been in my room longer than three minutes, but already her scent of strawberries was over riding my own musk. I simply sat there in my window staring at her.  
  
It was my first real good look at her ever. Despite my hate for girls, she really was beautiful. The simple way she wore her hair, and her scent was already driving me nuts. I had to literally shake my head from the daze I had been sitting in. What in the hell was she doing in my room anyway!? I restrained myself letting out a growl. Sliding from my place in the window, I moved with stealth to a position right behind her. Just in time too, she put the book away and turned around, nearly running into me.  
  
"What are you doing in here!?"  
  
I heard her let out an 'eep', staring directly into my chest a moment, before forcing her light blue eyes to mine. I glared down at her, finally letting out the growl that had been building in my chest. It must have startled her, because she backed up into the bookcase, staring at me with wide eyes.  
  
"Well!?" Already I could feel my patience with her growing short with her. She stuttered a few moment, before glancing at the desk. I followed her gaze to the tray of food. My stomach almost burst out of me with hunger.  
  
"I ... I noticed you didn't eat anything today. I-I thought you might like something to eat." I felt dumbfound. She had been paying attention to my habits. I kept my gaze on the tray for a moment, before looking back at her.  
  
"Have you ever heard of knocking!?" I snapped. She flinched.  
  
"I did. You didn't answer. I'm sorry if I disturbed you..." I stared at her a few more moments, before she opened her mouth again.  
  
"I'm truly sorry Neko-san. I'll go now..." I felt myself twitch. Neko-san? My hands clenched into fists as she tried to move swiftly passed me. It failed. She lost her balance, tripping. Before I knew it, she was kneeling before me, while I was left to stare up at her.  
  
"Oh no! I'm sorry I -!" I growled again, cutting her off.  
  
"Just get out before something else happens." She nodded and pushed herself up off the floor.  
  
"Just who the hell are you anyway?" I stood up myself, shaking out my fur, while I glared at her. She turned to face from the door, blinking a moment, before bowing.  
  
"Oh! I'm Tohru Honda ... it's nice to meet you." Nice to meet me? What the hell? So far, I had done nothing but yell at her, and here she's saying it's nice? She began to open the door, and I couldn't help it. My mouth suddenly had a mind of it's own.  
  
"Kyou." She blinked and looked back at me. I refused to look at her. I flattened my ears against my head and repeated myself.  
  
"My name's Kyou." She smiled this time. All the fear in her eyes of my just seemed to disappear, replaced by a light I had never seen before, especially towards me.  
  
"Goodnight Kyou-kun." She shut the door behind her. I wasn't sure what to do exactly to do after that, so I sat there waiting to change back. Once I did and redressed, I went to the food immediately. It was good, better than mine. I could already see what I was missing out on just for being the outcast. I growled and snorted softly. Not like anyone cared. I mistook myself, backing up a moment. She had been keeping track of me, even though we never spoke.  
  
I shook my head. No way in hell was I going to get my hopes up. Especially over a girl. 


	3. I Just Cannot Come To Leave You Alone

And If By Chance ... By: Samu-chan Rating: PG-13 (for now) Warnings: Slavery (Not beating and field working until you die slavery mind you. ^^; ), language A/N: Thank you to those of you who reviewed! It's nice to know that I'm doing so well in the eyes of my readers. I'll try my best to continue staying within the characters, though I did kind of note that I went a bit OOC with Yuki and 'bringing home girls often.' Overall, I never really caught his personality well, but I'll still try. Anyway ... THANKS! ^^  
  
And If By Chance ... I Just Cannot Come To Leave You Alone.  
  
I found myself locked between the bookshelf, and him. He was a bit taller than me, even taller than Sohma-kun. It was my real first close up to him. My first real good look at his face. I could tell he wasn't exactly happy with me for being in his room. He growled at me, and it rather startled me. I had never had anyone growl at me before, and I wasn't sure exactly what to reply with. I figured I was too close to him, so I backed myself up into the bookshelf to leave distance.  
  
"Well!?" Sohma-kun was right, he did seem to hate me. For that, I couldn't get my voice to work. I was scared of saying something that might make him hate me even more. I tried again, and just ended up stuttering in confusion. So I tried to communicate with my eyes. I let them travel to the tray I had left on his desk. It worked. He followed my gaze, and for a moment, I saw something in his eyes that I couldn't mistake. Hunger.  
  
"I ... I noticed you didn't eat anything today. I-I thought you might like something to eat." My worry for him once again overpassed the thought of him hating me. No one deserved to starve. My mother always said it was something she admired about me. That if I had to leave one thing the same about me, it would be my personality.  
  
"Have you ever heard of knocking!?" He snapped at me. I flinched out of my daze, and despite his yelling at me, I couldn't help but gaze at him softly.  
  
"I did. You didn't answer. I'm sorry if I disturbed you..." He just seemed to stare at me. I must have really upset him. I was quick to open my mouth again, in hopes to amend whatever damage I had caused.  
  
"I'm truly sorry Neko-san. I'll go now..." I noticed his fists clenched, and decided it was best if I just left before I offended him anymore. But luck was nowhere to be found. I tripped over my own feet, falling straight towards him. He reached out to grab my arms but missed, going past me, leaving me to only slam right into his chest. My vision went orange from the puff of smoke that commonly appeared when they changed. I landed on my knees, doing my best to avoid the clothing that had landed on the floor.  
  
I found myself staring into a pair of cat eyes. He was completely orange. But what other color should I have expected? I was dumbfound once again. I seemed to continue to exasperate him. I was starting to feel horrible about the whole situation. I just wanted to make sure he was alright.  
  
"Oh no! I'm sorry I -!" He cut my off with another one of his growls. I just stared at the floor, unsure of what I should even do.  
  
"Just get out before something else happens." I felt a twinge of pain strike in my heart. I nodded at him simply, and silently pushed myself off the floor. I wasted no time in hurrying to the door.  
  
"Just who the hell are you anyway?" I stopped. I was being so rude. I had never even introduced myself. Maybe if I had from the beginning, he might not have been so mad. I faced him. He was now standing and shaking out his fur, but his glare hadn't changed. I bowed towards him, doing my best to keep from blushing.  
  
"Oh! I'm Tohru Honda ... it's nice to meet you." His glare seemed to change into more of an observational gaze. Despite his obvious hate towards me, it really was nice to meet him. I had been wanting to do it for a while now, but only refrained myself for Sohma-kun's sake. He seemed to be worried about me getting close to the cat in front of me. I finally pulled my head from the clouds, and proceeded to exit his room once again.  
  
His voice muttered something I didn't quite pick up. I blinked at the door, and turned back to face him. The fact that I had not heard him, seemed to set off his anger at me again. I was about to apologize again, but he cut me off.  
  
"My name's Kyou." I blinked again, before letting my natural smile forming to my face again. I watched him softly for a moment. Something told me he wasn't as bad as Sohma-kun thought. Even though he may have a temper, he at least let me know his name. That was hope for me right there.  
  
"Goodnight Kyou-kun." I continued to smile as I finally left his room. It took me a moment to notice that my room had been right next to his the whole time. I continued to smile, as I headed off for my room. I was just about to enter, when I heard Sohma-kun beckon me from the end of the hall with a worried voice.  
  
"Did he do something to insult you?" I turned to face Sohma-kun, from my position. By that time, he had swiftly made his way down the hall to me, standing only about a foot away. I stared at him in confusion, and he seemed to pick up on it.  
  
"Is the reason you went into his room because he insulted you?" I blinked again, before the question truly sank into my head.  
  
"Oh no! I was worried about Kyou-kun. He hasn't come out of his room all day, and I thought he might be hungry..." Sohma-kun's concerned face didn't leave. Instead, he added a heavy sigh.  
  
"That cat doesn't deserve to be called anything but a baka." I didn't get a chance to even reply, when Kyou-kun's door flew open. He looked even more mad than before, but this time, his attention was directed at Sohma-kun.  
  
"If your going to insult me, try not doing it next to my room!" I flinched as he snapped at Sohma-kun, but he simply waved off his hand in Kyou-kun's direction, and headed into his room. I stood there, staring at his door a moment, before looking over at Kyou-kun. He snorted at me.  
  
"Now what!?" I took a startled breath, and opened my mouth to reply.  
  
"Wait ... don't tell me." I shut my mouth, watching he move from his place and head down to the kitchen. Somewhere along the way, he muttered an agitated thank you, just barely loud enough for me to hear. I smiled again. Hope was not lost after all.  
  
I always got up before everyone else. Maybe just a little after the sun began to rise. I always made large breakfasts. Sohma and Shigure-kun needed a good start every morning. I had a tendency to make a little of everything, since I had no idea what they would want each morning. I wasn't about to go wake them to ask either. It'd be rude of me of course. I was a bit happier this morning. I had finally met the last Sohma within the house, and it looked like he might at least tolerate me.  
  
Little did I know that the object of my attention had come downstairs so early. I usually never saw him until after a little after noon, and even then, I would be lucky. He continued to move with the silence and grace of a cat, heading directly towards the fridge for the milk I had bought yesterday. I didn't notice him until I turned around, watching him literally drink right out of the container. I contained a small giggle. He certainly could look cute when he was oblivious.  
  
"Good morning Kyou-kun." I think I startled him more than me. He nearly spit out the milk from his mouth, but managed to swallow it, letting out a few coughs afterwards. I moved quickly to his side, but I was unsure of what to say to him, so I stood there next to him until he caught his breath.  
  
"Never do that again! Geez..." He was still panting from the forceful coughs. I remained unmoved from my spot.  
  
"What are you staring like that at me for?" I blinked. From the look on his face, I was guessing my face had been covered in worry, and he wasn't exactly sure why. I blushed slightly.  
  
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. Are you alright?" He simply stood there staring at me this time. His face was completely void of all emotion. His attention didn't stay on me long, as he glanced over me at the food I had been preparing.  
  
"Fine. What are you making?" I glanced behind me at the food, before replying with a simple 'breakfast'. He opened his mouth to remark, but he didn't get the chance. I accidentally cut him off. I laced my fingers together, placing them under my chin, my eyes wide with hope.  
  
"Will Kyou-kun be joining us for breakfast too?" This time, he just seemed stuck staring at me. I didn't know what I said, or maybe when I said it, but something again wavered in his eyes. This time, his eyes softened while looking at me. It didn't last long. He snorted at me, taking another long sip from the milk before putting it back.  
  
"Eat with the rat and dog? You have got to be joking..." I looked down at the floor. I felt childish for asking him. It wasn't my place to ask him anyway. Despite that, I felt my eyes sting with tears again. He seemed to notice, and stuttered at me a moment, before nearly yelling at me in surprise.  
  
"W-what are you crying for!?" I looked up, stuttering myself. I couldn't think of an answer that might not upset him anymore than he already was.  
  
"I was just hoping to enjoy Kyou-kun's company today..." He grumbled under his breath, before huffing softly at me.  
  
"Maybe another time." My eyes shot up at him again, filled with hope. He sighed deeply, shaking his head gently in what looked like defeat.  
  
"Should I bring Kyou-kun some breakfast in his room?" He waved me off slightly, heading back up the stairs, but not before I heard a very audible 'Yeah'.  
  
The rest of that day went rather well. I had a long and wonderful talk with Shigure-kun, and Sohma-kun even began to teach me how to garden. He remained calm and patient, even when I thought I was ready to give up. He continued to insist though, and I eventually began to learn. I was already pretty happy here. My life wasn't as bad as it looked, though I did miss my mother and father terribly at times.  
  
I had spoken to Sohma-kun about my parents, and asked about his. He didn't say much. Mostly that he couldn't remember. Something told me there was more to it, but it was rude to pry, so I kept my questions to myself, and enjoyed his company. That same night, after saying goodnight to Sohma and Shigure-kun, I was beginning to get ready for bed, when a loud and resounding thump came from my ceiling. I gasped, slightly startled, looking up from my window, but I couldn't see anything.  
  
Only thing I could do, is climb up. Despite my slight fear at first, I slowly got the hang of it too, and before I knew it, I was finally on the roof, only to find myself again, staring into burning red eyes.  
  
"What are you doing up here!?" He snapped at me once again. I nearly lost my footing and fell, but he grabbed my hand, pulling me quickly onto the roof. He stood unmoved as I gapped at him a moment, before blushing.  
  
"I just ... heard a thump on the roof. I was wondering if something happened. Was it you?" He rolled his eyes, moving away from me to plop down on the roof, staring deeply into the sky, as if he wanted to burn a hole into it. He didn't answer me, so I took it to be my sign to leave.  
  
"Yeah. What else in the world could get on the roof!?" He grumbled towards me again, watching my form from beneath his bangs. I couldn't see his eyes. I wanted too. I always loved eyes. I think that was probably my favorite thing about people. So many emotions could be read just from their eyes. Before I knew it though, I was sitting next to him, talking to him about my parents. I wasn't sure how or when we got on the topic. I wasn't even sure he was awake and listening.  
  
"Sorry..." He opened his eyes, glancing at me a moment, before shaking his head.  
  
"You say that too much." I blushed. I would have apologized again, but it just seemed to make him angry. I sat there in silence, staring at the roof.  
  
"It's late. Go to bed." I blinked. It was more of an order than a request. I nodded, heading back down into my window. I started for the bed.  
  
"Are you stupid or something!?" I jumped and whirled around, finding Kyou- kun sitting in the window, arms crossed. I began to wonder what I had done this time.  
  
"Shut and lock your window." He snorted at me, before jumping from my window directly into my room. I stared dumbly at him as he approached. He stopped beside me a moment, before continuing out my bedroom door and on to his. I couldn't help it. I smiled brightly again. I walked to my window, shutting and locking it .  
  
******************** Another small note, anything that is present day, such as a fridge, is just so I can explain what exactly it is. I'm not sure when this is exactly set, so what was used to keep milk and such things fresh, I have no idea. So anything futuristic, just try to imagine it with whatever time setting you see this in. Hehe ^^;;; 


	4. I Feel So Much More

And If By Chance ... By: Samu-chan Rating: PG-13 (for now) Warnings: Slavery (Not beating and field working until you die slavery mind you. ^^; ), language A/N: Thank you again to those who reviewed. I feel so ... loved! I think so far this is my best story, not to sound braggy or anything. Later on, I may have 3rd person, and maybe even a few chapters in Yuki's PoV. I guess I'll let you debate on that one. Tell me in the reviews if you would like a few Yuki Pov's. ^^ Anyway, this chapter is in Kyou's view, just to keep you on track. And on with the story!  
  
And If By Chance ... I Feel So Much More  
  
I guess I was confused. Any other person would have probably hit me, like Kagura often did when I yelled or snapped at her. I could already see a big difference between her and most people. It slightly unnerved me. I felt naturally drawn to her already. It didn't just unnerve me though. It scared me. I was determined to be alone. No matter what anyone else might have ever wanted. I never had anyone worry about me anyway. Now just within five minutes, everything had begun to change.  
  
"That cat doesn't deserve to be called anything but a baka." The rat of course. I growled roughly. For some reason, I suddenly wanted to protect myself from his 'praise to be an idiot'. I literally threw my door open, unsurprised to see the rat before me, standing rather close to Tohru. He never gave up on a girl did he?  
  
"If your going to insult me, try not doing it next to my room!" I think I shocked her. She stood there staring at him, while I watched the rat wave off my attack and head off into his own room. Just the simple act made my blood set on fire. I had to fight down the cat inside of me, when I finally looked over at Tohru.  
  
"Now what!?" She drew in a deep and sharp breath. Flustered was the word that best fit her at the moment. I decided not to talk to her anymore than I had too, which was not at all.  
  
"Wait ... don't tell me." I didn't want to see her reaction. I was expecting her to finally explode at me and tell me off as I headed towards the stairs, but she remained quiet. I really wished she hadn't, because I couldn't stop myself from breaking the silence while walking down the stairs. I was agitated, and didn't have the energy to turn around and say it ... or maybe not the guts, but I could still feel her smile.  
  
"Thanks."  
  
I am not a morning person. Rather surprisingly though, I'm not much of a night person either. I guess it makes sense though. I'm not a complete cat anyway. But like I mentioned. Sleeping wasn't an option. I decided to get up early. Of course, I had no idea that she got up just as early as well. I was drowsy, and quite out of it. I was also quite clumsy too. I passed her without noticing. My first priority. Milk. I usually got scolding for drinking right out of the container, but no one was even up ... that I knew of at the moment.  
  
"Good morning Kyou-kun." Despite the softness of her voice, she almost caused me to choke. I had the hardest time holding myself together. I finally swallowed, and let out a few coughs. I was left panting. I sensed her presence next to me, so I forced myself to look at her.  
  
"Never do that again! Geez..." I continued to pant and watch her. She made no attempt to open her mouth. She simply watched me. Worry etched into her face. What was worse than that? Her eyes. She stared at me with the same soft and caring eyes I had met her with. My nerves began to feel as though they had been set on fire, then dropped on ice. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't pull my vision away from her. I felt ... unsure of myself. It was the first time in a really long time.  
  
"What are you staring like that at me for?" I was surprised my voice moved. With her stare on me, and my nerves set on overdrive, it just surprised me that my mind worked. I don't think she noticed the nervousness in my voice though. I must have gotten luck and pulled her from her daze. She blushed.  
  
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. Are you alright?" My turn to stare at her. She was still being so ... nice. I couldn't believe it. It took all my energy not to show how confused I was. I wasn't sure how I would explain why I would be so confused, but I could see myself trying. How no one cared if I choked and died. Another cat would be born. One to take my place as an outcast. I didn't matter. I wasn't sure if I could even say it that simply. No matter how I read it though, it did hurt to talk about.  
  
"Fine. What are you making?" Despite my long term thinking, I turned my attention to the food behind her. It was her making that wonderful smelling food. She suddenly brought her hands together under her chin, her blue eyes filled with the same thing I saw before she left my room the night before. Hope.  
  
"Will Kyou-kun be joining us for breakfast too?" My eyes got stuck on hers. She was special alright. She knew I was the outcast. She knew I had a bad temper. She knew I hated her for just being a female ... or at least, I was trying to keep it that way. And yet, she continued to have hope for me. I felt my stare turn into more of a soft gaze. It struck me rather hard. She didn't care about that. She accepted it all, and still she held hope, because inside she really did care about what happened to me. But my rough side took over instantly.  
  
"Eat with the dog and rat? You have got to be joking..." I felt like hitting myself. I saw her face lower, and eyes well up with tears. It tore at me. I felt ... ashamed. I hurt her. She was the direct opposite of me. Everything I am ... she's not. Once again, for the first time in a long time ... I felt horrible about something I said.  
  
"W-what are you crying for!?" I stuttered, but she didn't seem to notice again. She looked up at me, slightly confused for a moment.  
  
"I was just hoping to enjoy Kyou-kun's company today..." I grumbled a few things under my breath. How was I going to sit with the rat and dog? I had never done it before. I have lived here years, and not once eaten with them. I was just growing immune to the fact of loneliness, maybe even to the point ... where I just preferred it over everything else. But just the emotion the was hanging from her voice, my mind shut down. I wasn't quite sure if I'd ever get used to her.  
  
"Maybe another time." She did it again. Looking at me with those eyes of hers. So far, I was the only one in this house to take her hope away. And it just pissed me off on why I couldn't figure out ... what hold she had over me. All I could come up with was a sigh and a good shake of my head. Maybe it would clear out my mind at the most. I was already heading back up towards my room, when she called me back from my haze.  
  
"Should I bring Kyou-kun some breakfast in his room?" I figured if I said no ... she might start to cry again. It wouldn't be long until the rat was up, and he'd be ragging on me for causing her pain. I certainly didn't need it this early. Although ... what she had been cooking smelled even better than what I could do, so I suppose I put myself up for a test. I kept telling myself that, but I already knew better.  
  
I observed the rest of the day. That ... and did too much thinking. I wasn't sure why, but her voice kept repeating itself in my head. All the nice things she said to me. Even about me. Confusion had a strong hold on me, and I could tell it would only get worse. As I observed, I watched her getting closer to the rat and Shigure. And yet ... I knew that part of her was holding out. She looked happy enough, but the look in her eyes ... it didn't always show that spark.  
  
I think I sat on the roof almost the entire day. I finally had enough of staring at the same place in the sky though, so I got up. My legs nearly didn't cooperate, and a fell back down onto the roof with a rather hard thud. I let out a growl to join the pain that shot through me for a moment. As I started to get up, I heard something scrambling on the side of the house. I looked over, just as Tohru's head popped into over the side.  
  
"What are you doing up here!?" My immediate reaction. I didn't mean to startle her. I could see her lose her balance quickly, so I ran off my next impulse. I grabbed her hand. In one swift move, I pulled her completely up onto the roof with no problems. She stood there staring at me, as if I was the most amazing thing she had ever seen. It didn't last long though, she blushed just as quickly as she lost her balance.  
  
"I just ... heard a thump on the roof. I was wondering if something happened. Was it you?" I couldn't help but roll my eyes. She really could be oblivious. But oddly enough, I could feel my own blush threatening to climb up. I inwardly grunted and moved away from her. Flopping back to the roof. I stared at the sky intensely just to make sure I didn't blush.  
  
"Yeah. What else in the world could get on the roof!?" I watched her from beneath my bangs. From the look on her face, she wanted to see my entire face. I couldn't let her though. I didn't want to give her hope that might be crushed in the end. I knew my eyes were soft like before. At the moment, I felt like there was no such thing as anger. She sat down beside me. I must have asked her what her family was like, because I found myself listening intently to her.  
  
"Sorry..." I opened my eyes looking at her quizzically. It took me a moment to reregister everything.  
  
"You say that too much." I saw her blush, and I could feel mine returning.  
  
"It's late. Go to bed." She blinked at me, and without even a reply, she climbed back down the roof. Much faster than she had climbed I noted. I had a feeling I hurt her feelings ... again. I followed her, rather surprised to find that she left her window open as she was getting ready for bed.  
  
"Are you stupid or something!?" She could get robbed ... or murdered if she left this window open. I was sure I was probably getting a little bit ahead of myself, and that I was already growing rather protective of her no matter how hard I told myself not to get attached. She whirled around to stare at me. It was her turn to stare at me in a questioning form.  
  
"Shut and lock your window." I snorted at her to add effect, before jumping into her room. I watched her simply stare at me. My body froze when it finally came up next to her. Her silence was so ... comforting for some reason. Or maybe it was just the look in her eyes. It was different this time. Trust. I finished hurrying out of her room and back into mine. I fell onto my bed, letting out a grunted.  
  
"Great."  
  
For the first time in my life ... in a long time ... I was happy. I couldn't believe any of it though. A few weeks have already gone by since Tohru first came to live with us. She spent her days with Shigure and the rat, but spent hours on end with me on the roof at night. Despite what I originally had wanted ... I accepted her. I couldn't help it. She had an allure about her. Something that draws people to her. It was more than just her beauty ... it was her loving personality.  
  
Out of everyone ... I was the one who made her cry. I didn't mean too ... I just did. And yet, she always returned. She never gave up on me. I think it was one reason I accepted her so quickly. She trusted me, no matter how many times I tried to hide away. Run away. I was good at that. Running ... but she eventually would catch up. I stopped sulking so much in my room. I even started to join them at breakfast and dinner ... adding much surprise to the dog and rat. But it made her happy, so I tried.  
  
However ... I never thought I'd get any closer to her. The few short hours that we talk ... or much rather watch the stars, that was all it was going to be. Unlike my acceptance of her, I was going to be firm on myself. Though ... I think fate didn't like the idea. That day ... Tohru went to the store to go get some groceries. Even though both the rat and I insisted on taking someone with, she said it would be a short trip and she'd be back soon. That was about ... six hours ago.  
  
********************  
  
Suspense? Shame on me.  
  
Time for yet another disclaimer.... I DON'T OWN IT ... unless someone is offering to buy it for me 


	5. Home Will Always Be There

And If By Chance ... By: Samu-chan Rating: R Warnings: Slavery (Not beating and field working until you die slavery mind you. ^^; ) A/N: I decided not to do the prelude. It wasn't going to make much sense, so basically, the story is at the same time, only in an alternate like reality. Besides ... I wanted to focus on this upcoming chapter, before I lost all details and thought. From now on as well ... the rating I put at the beginning of each chapter is the specific rating just for it. Sometimes it will go back to PG-13, and others remain at R.  
  
And If By Chance ... Home Will Always Be There  
  
Tohru was happy. She had finally learned to take everyone as they were. Sohma-kun was very much like a prince, yet held a withdrawing attitude at times. Shigure-san had his own little ways of showing her cared for her. One way, was calling her his or their 'little flower'. It often caused her to blush too.  
  
As for Kyou-kun. She seemed to understand him the most. He really only had a hard time showing what he felt. Unlike Sohma-kun with his words, and Shigure-san with his writings ... Kyou-kun wasn't sure how to show what he felt. Maybe he was just afraid of rejection. Or maybe he was trying to hide something. Or even a little of both perhaps?  
  
Either way ... she loved living in this house. There was the facts of her missing her family. But she did have a new one now. She would always love both her families. Ever since she had arrived, the fighting between Sohma- kun and Kyou-kun had calmed slightly ... Shigure-san had a bit more fire for his writings. Whether or not that had to do with her, she didn't care. She loved seeing them all getting along better.  
  
Tohru stared at the sky, as the played the thoughts through her mind. Her usual bright smile plastered to her face. At that moment, nothing could ruin her thoughts. They were perfect. Her parents would be thrilled to know she was well-treated and happy. She just hoped the same for them.  
  
She had heard lately of a few slavery brawls. People were starting to become unhappy working for others. Many had run away from their homes, helping others escape and then violently attacking the farms and others homes. She certainly hoped that her family wasn't caught in this kind of a roughing.  
  
The sounds of yelling caught her attention quickly. Tohru glanced around until a fire caught her attention. 'Oh no! It must be one of those fights!' Tohru panicked for a moment, before running towards the fire. 'Someone may need my help!'  
  
"You'll never change will you?" Tohru came to a sharp stop. Her eyes stared at the fire, but her attention was focused behind her.  
  
"Oh Tohru ..."  
  
*~*  
  
"It's been way to long. We have to go look for her!" Kyou snapped sharply. Yuki just growled back at the cat.  
  
"If you're so worried about her, then why didn't you go with her!?" Kyou couldn't hold back the hiss that emerged from the cat's spirit. 'Kuso nezumi ... you wouldn't have let me anyway...' Kyou continued to stare at Yuki, his cat ears and tail completely straight. Between the two boys, sat Shigure.  
  
"I too, am worried for our poor little flower. What if some pervert snatched her up and-"  
  
"Shut Up!" Shigure whined and bustled off to towards the kitchen for some ice to apply to his newly earned bruises, leaving a fuming Kyou and a rather calm Yuki ... who were still arguing.  
  
*~*  
  
"They'll be gone."  
  
"Gone?" Tohru echoed quietly. The one before her nodded. Tohru nibbled on her bottom lip. She gathered her clothing up next to her. Every bone in her body hurt. Her arms and legs were covered with bruises. She could hardly believe she was still bleeding too. Her eyes tightly shut, trying to block out the screaming of pain and moaning of pleasure from around her.  
  
"So if you even try to go back there ... we'll do it again. And this time ... we won't just hurt you." Tohru's hands flew to her forehead, trying to block out the horrors of her memory.  
  
*Tohru backed up against the wall ... staring at the three boys before her. She had worked with them at one time. They had never liked her family. Maybe that was why they were doing this to her? But had she done? She tried to hold up what was left of her shirt to her chest. The boys smirked at her, and continued to approach her. *  
  
'I can't leave. I ... I can never see Sohma-kun, Shigure-san ... Kyou-kun again?' Through her shut eyes, tears began to leak around. From behind her ... a younger blonde boy watched Tohru for a moment, before running off into the woods.  
  
*~*  
  
"I'm Ba~ck!" Kyou gritted his teeth together. 'Good lord no.' The bunny's head popped around the corner, to spot his three older cousins sitting around the table ... looking rather worried. Before the little rabbit could say anything, Kyou charged up the stairs to get away. It was bad enough Tohru was missing, now Momiji had decided to drop by for one of his famous surprise visits.  
  
Unluckily for him, the bunny decided to follow him. At least ... until he noticed that the guest room was no longer locked up. The boy's curiosity caught the best of him, and he went about following that curiosity. He wandered into the guest room, which seemed to have become a room for ... a girl!?  
  
"What in the hell are you doing!?" Momiji grinned and looked back at the cat, who looked like he could knock the house down with one hit.  
  
"Being nosy. Why~?" Kyou gritted his teeth again. 'Damn that voice ...' Kyou didn't get to open his mouth again. Momiji's eyes seemed locked on a picture Tohru always had on her dresser of her mother, father, and her.  
  
"That's her."  
  
"What?" Momiji pointed to the picture slowly. His eyes wavered as he looked at Kyou, who stared back at him rather confused.  
  
"She's the one. I saw these three guys ... hurting her." Momiji picked his words carefully as he saw Kyou's anger building again.  
  
"What!?"  
  
*~*  
  
*Pain over mounted her senses. No matter how hard she wanted to fight the three of them off, she wasn't strong enough. She felt ... sandwiched. One on top, another on the bottom. While the third held her down, the other two slammed into her at different rates. She felt like she was going to be pulled apart.*  
  
Tohru sat up with a start, panting. Besides her bruises, the only thing that hurt now was her insides. She whimpered softly, sitting up completely, but kept herself in a ball shape. Her eyes snapped open suddenly when she heard huffed breathing behind her. As a hand came down on her shoulder, she let her hand fly instinctively into the side of someone's head, her eyes closed once again.  
  
"Ow!" Tohru blinked a few times, before slowly looking behind her. His hand was still on her shoulder, while the other rubbed the side of his head where he was hit. Her eyes wavered slightly as they filled with tears. Without thinking, she threw her arms around his neck, catching him off guard.  
  
"Kyou-kun!"  
  
"Tohru! No do-" Poof. Tohru found an orange cat now in her arms, pulled to her bare chest. She had completely forgotten she had been naked in the first place. Kyou did his best to stare up at her face, but he couldn't help the purr that found it's way through him. His relief to still see she was alive.  
  
Tohru seemed to notice his purring, so she hugged him gently. Kyou wait while she cried, mumbling what had happened to her, unaware of his rising temper. As Tohru finally regained her senses, she placed Kyou on the ground. At that moment, the familiar poof returned, and Tohru closed her eyes quickly while mumbling how sorry she was.  
  
Kyou however, only got to putting his pants back on. He studied her closely. She looked so lost. When she opened her eyes and caught Kyou staring at her with such soft eyes, she let out a small gasp. That got him back on track. He reached past his shirt and handed her a bundle of her own clothing.  
  
"After what Momiji just told me, I figured you could use some new clothing." Tohru blushed, muttering a shy thank you. As both of them finished putting on their clothing, Yuki stepped into the clearing, rubbing his arm softly where a small cut now lay.  
  
"Miss Honda..." Tohru smiled and hopped up to hug him. Yuki was lucky enough to put his arm in front of him as Tohru grabbed it. She blushed, but hugged his arm instead.  
  
"Let's go home."  
  
********************  
  
I made this a bit of a short chapter. I had actually finished it a few weeks ago, but totally forgot about it. Sorry ^^;. Anyway, I'm going to kind of change the way I post the PoV's, and the next chapter will be from Kyou's PoV. 


	6. You Broke The Ice

And If By Chance ... By: Samu-chan Rating: PG -13 Warnings: Slavery (Not beating and field working until you die slavery mind you. ^^; ) A/N: I know... it's been like.. years since I updated. I'm shamed yet I'm very proud to give yet another chapter to you. I've had no inspiration until I got to reading once again. ^^  
  
And If By Chance ... You Broke The Ice  
  
I was so happy she was home. She didn't say much about what happened to her. Not to anyone. We had an idea from the bruises, but other than that, she was acting just like her normal self. That kind of scared me. I know Tohru is a big girl. I also know she doesn't like to bother people with her problems.  
  
It's been about a two weeks though. I mean, even I would be different after that experience. She pushes herself to be the same. I can see it in her. I don't even think Yuki sees it. He's the woman chaser. So why doesn't he do something about it? Or yet ... why don't I?  
  
I've repeated it in my head at least a hundred times. She doesn't matter. But then I have my other half ... deep inside always to the opposite. 'Of course you do or you wouldn't have gone out for her.' I'd tell myself that I have never cared for anyone. 'You care for her now admit it.'  
  
Okay. So I admit it now. I care for her. More than I'd like. She's impossible to hate. Impossible to ignore. She calms yet excites me. She's the first one to affect in this way ... and I like it. I don't want her to leave anymore. I want her around. To see her happy. It hurts to know that she's hiding from everyone. From me.  
  
I noticed the second day she was back. She hadn't said anything to me. Avoiding me. She stuck around that damn rat. And that scared me. I was losing her without ever even having her. I still watch them ... from the roof. Walking to and from the garden. Talking and laughing.  
  
It makes me sick. I mean that literally. I saw them holding hands the one day ... and it made me sick. I think that was the only time she actually said something to me since we brought her home. I was busy seething in jealousy and I snapped at her. I think I made her cry too, and Yuki was sure to beat me up on it later.  
  
So here I am. Wrapped with jealousy and pained by the fact that I no longer matter to her either. That happiness I had when she was brought home. That was changing again. Back to the familiar lock up. To throw away my feelings and become hard and uncaring like I was before I met her.  
  
It's harder than before. When I was a child I had no problem locking myself away. I figured no one cared for me. Then Tohru cared ... and now it was the same as before. She didn't care. So neither would I. I will no longer subject myself to this kind of pain. It's gone. And so is she to me.  
  
I guess I spaced talking to myself, because Shigure was being his big mouth again. I hadn't gone to dinner tonight. I stood outside listening to them talk. No surprise that any of them noticed I wasn't there. Good. I snuck back up onto my sanctuary. My life was the roof. I wouldn't have it any other way.  
  
~*~  
  
I slept rather well that night. On the roof. Safe. I decided that I would go for a walk to wake me up and give them time to eat so I wouldn't have to deal with them. I hadn't expected both Tohru and Yuki to be standing there ... holding hands, big surprise. They hadn't seen me yet either...  
  
I passed them, staring straight at the forest. I heard Yuki mutter something about me, and I could feel their eyes on me. I didn't pay attention. I wouldn't give them anymore satisfaction of ignoring me. Of acting as though I didn't exist. I would make it to them as though I didn't.  
  
I just walked ... for hours. I found myself on the far end of the forest. Near a lake. It was so peaceful. I was hungry ... my feet hurt. I just realized where my body was taking me. It wanted to go into the mountains. The part of my soul that just wanted to be free. The part that was sore ... and wanted to be loved. I'd rather be free.  
  
I let myself go. I laid down right there on the ground, staring up at the clouds above me. Everything felt flat. Sour ... cold. I didn't really believe I could live like this forever. But I guess that was the only thing my mind and body agreed with. To be alone and safe. To let my mind wander as I wanted it too...  
  
"...K-kyou-kun?" I shot straight up, but didn't look at her. She followed me. Of all times to follow me. The one time I can be free from it all ... the one time...  
  
"I'm sorry. I ... I noticed you haven't eaten with us for a while now. I've been worr-" I cut her off. I couldn't stand to listen to it.  
  
"Don't bother. I know you don't care." I could feel the tension of her wanting to cry build up already. I know that stung, but I didn't care anymore. She was busy with Yuki ... and Shigure. Even that damn bunny Momiji. She didn't even reply to me. I figured she had left, but when I turned around, she was still standing there, staring at me.  
  
"What?!" She flinched and I inwardly did too. As much as I wanted to be over her, I realized then I wasn't. I wanted to imagine she was no longer important. But the pain was very hard to see on her face for me.  
  
"I ... want to talk... I... can't talk with Yuki, or Shigure... I'm sorry if I bothered you I really--"  
  
"Whatever ... ... come sit down." I had a feeling I was gonna regret this, but I patted the ground next to me. She smiled and took her spot rather quickly. I wasn't sure whether to be worried or happy.  
  
"Well? ... What is it?" I asked kind of asked rudely. I guess that answered my question about her. I was more worried than happy about the whole situation. If she couldn't talk to Yuki or Shigure, then how in the world could she talk to me? I tilted my head, keeping my mouth shut the best I could. It was hard for her.  
  
She didn't look all right. The curtain of her hiding. Her pain. Everything. It was crumbling faster than anything I ever saw. She was so scared. Her knees to her chest, eyes already filling with tears. She couldn't even hold still. Her body was as frightened as she was mentally. I could almost see the bruises rising from beneath her skin.  
  
"I feel ... so dirty. The pain ... of it all. I felt like ... I was being ripped apart from the inside. My arms were strained so badly, I thought they might have been broken. They just ... wouldn't stop. The more I struggled, the more the they changed rates... I..." She was shivering, and crying. I felt my heart breaking. She was so innocent.  
  
I broke my own rules. To ignore her in the first place. I couldn't even hold her though. I wanted to badly to comfort her. To let her know I wasn't just a jerk. Everything my mind had refused to let in, it wanted it all now. I wanted to walk with her again. To hold her hand and talk like we were just a normal couple. Like her and Yuki...  
  
I frowned slightly. I knew how it was going to work. She would go back to ignoring me. To giving all her attention to that dam rat. He would be loved like everyone else felt for him. Shigure, Tohru ... even Akito seemed to give him leeway. It stung me. I felt like I went blind, and I didn't matter. I didn't even notice I had said most of it out loud.  
  
"Kyou-kun..." My eyes widened. I didn't expect her face to be so close to mine. I saw her deep blue eyes staring back at me. I unconsciously shivered as she put her hand on mine, looking at the ground a moment. She was shivering too. I couldn't help myself. I reached out with my other hand, rubbing her arm softly.  
  
"I never meant for you to feel unloved. You .. you were the one who saw me broken. I couldn't think of anything to say to you. I couldn't stand to see you looking at me like I was ..."  
  
"Yuki." I finished the sentence for her. Like a rat. I sighed, looking off into the lake for a moment, before I grabbed and held her gaze with my own. I moved my hand up to her chin, touching her gently. The last thing I wanted was to scare her.  
  
"You are the farthest thing from Yuki. I thought you despised me like everyone else. As though I didn't exist to you. I ... I felt crushed." I closed my eyes, moving my face from her view. I felt ashamed of myself. I had never told any one of my real true feelings of being nonexistent.  
  
I hadn't expected her to take it so hard either. She didn't think and before I knew it, I was crushed between her breasts, with her apologizing, and tears welling up in her eyes again.  
  
"It's okay. I'm okay. And you'll be great. You did nothing wrong. You are still innocent and clean, no one can take that away from you." I began to purr without notice. I could feel her sobbing, and I let her bury her face into my fur. It was the least I could do to make her feel better.  
  
"Thank you Kyou-kun."  
  
"Let's go home." She nodded. I expected her to put me down, but instead, she grabbed my clothes and headed off towards the house. I would have objected but I could feel her heart calm with every stroke to my fur. In a way, it calmed me too. I was so worried about her now.  
  
~*~  
  
When we did finally get home it was rather late. We snuck in and Tohru insisted on feeding me. I only agreed if she would too. I noticed without really realizing it that she hadn't eatten much either lately. She placed me in the living room with my clothing and went into the kitchen to make rice balls and salom.  
  
My favorite of course. I should have guessed. The girl in the kitchen was intent on making it up to me. I couldn't stop her from doing that, but I could do my best to make it up to her as well. She came back into the room, me already changed and dressed again, with the food.  
  
She sat next to me this time, instead of across from me like usual. We sat there, in complete and worthy silence. For once, it was welcomed. I could feel her. Danity... innocent. I was right. Nothing could spoil her. Well ... maybe me, but I won't. She's too perfect to ruin. And that was when it really hit me.  
  
I love her. I truly love her. Her beauty. Her faith. Her honesty. Her most generous personality. I hadn't even noticed that she had crawled into my heart and grew. My extended leaves from the house, my weight loss... it all happened when she wasn't around. When I thought I meant nothing to her.  
  
I look at her. She smiles at me and mouths a 'Thank you'. I feel like ... everything fits. I now know what she is. She was sent to show me, that somebody can care for me. Maybe selfish ... maybe naiive. But I love her for what she has done to me. I painfully and deeply love her.  
  
She broke the ice.  
  
********************  
  
I know I know. A little out of Kyou style, but it's how I think he really does feel about Tohru... through my story anyway. Next chapter will be in Tohru's PoV. ^^ 


	7. It's Only You

And If By Chance ... 

By: Samu-chan 

Rating: PG -13 

Warnings: Slavery (Not beating and field working until you die slavery mind you. ^^; ) 

A/N: Not much to say. I know I said this story was on hold, but I couldn't help myself. ^^; This time... I'm gonna put it in all three POV's in, and it'll probably make more sense as you read on.   
  
And If By Chance ... It's Only You

I missed being around him. Refraining myself from him ... it didn't help any. He saw me broken. I refused to let him or Yuki come with me to the store, and I got hurt. He was the one ... I didn't want depressed or be upset with me. I noted that Sohma-kun and Shigure-kun seemed fine with my attitude. Of course it really hadn't changed, but I had to try so much harder to keep going.

The day he walked passed me and into the forest, I couldn't help but follow. Something tugged me. I knew he'd probably be mad at me for following him. When he finally did come to a stop, and I first let him know I was there, he snapped at me ... like I had predicted. He was mad with me. I guess that was my fault anyway. He had muttered once to me, that I should tell people what I want.

I hate wanting, but it slipped out. I wanted to talk to him. It hurt not too. He seemed wary of me, but let me sit next to him, and I let it all out. I felt bad for laying it all on him, in the first place, but he didn't seem to mind. When I put my hand on his, and he touched my arm in comfort, I felt happy, truly happy once again. I didn't have to try to smile when we reached home.

" It's okay. I'm okay. And you'll be great. You did nothing wrong. You are still innocent and clean, no one can take that away from you."

His words were so heart filled. I no longer felt bad ... or guilty. What he said was strong. Like he is. I was thrilled to see him eat again. And the next few weeks were just as wonderful. I spent more time with him again, and didn't have to sacrifice time with the other Somas. I got to really know Momiji, the rabbit of the family. Kyou never did get along with him though, but never did hurt him.

I wouldn't have changed my life. To live here was more than enough, with my new family. But change always comes.

Shigure-kun came home a few days before the month of August began. I noticed he seemed to be upset about something. He motioned me to follow him into the next room, Sohma-kun and Kyou-kun both watching us. It was a rare sight I supposed to see Shigure-kun so out of character.

"Tohru ... I've got bad news. Akito has decided that you are to leave the house and not come back." I froze. My mind swirled and hazed, far worse than the walk from my original home. I had to leave. Leave everything that had grown so fond on me. I remembered he wasn't finished, so I returned my gaze to him. Part of my mind still traveled to the thought of leaving everything behind.

"This morning though ... I guess this is good news. I met your father. He and your mother ... are going to come get you." Now I wasn't sure how to react. The thought of seeing my parents was over joking, but part of me ... hurt. I nibbled on my bottom lip as Kyou-kun and Sohma-kun entered the room. I didn't hear Shigure-kun explaining the situation to them, but Sohma-kun's voice brought me back to reality.

"That's good to hear. You'll be with your family again." My smile was misplaced. I felt more sad than anything else. I looked for Kyou-kun, but he left the room. I sighed inwardly, chatting with Shigure-kun for a few more minutes. Until I couldn't take it anymore... 

"Excuse me. I need to..." I didn't plan this escape all too well, but both of them nodded and I raced out of the room. I could feel my tears welling in my eyes. Yet I could still see the ladder in front of me. I knew he was up there. I wasn't sure if he'd be happy to see me either, but I didn't want to shut myself away from him again. I was drawn up the ladder.

And he was there, as I knew. I didn't finish the climb, just stood there clinging to the ladder. His eyes were closed, arms behind his head. He looked ... stiff. I lost my footing once again, and let out a small squeal. This time, it wasn't as much of a surprise, and yet I still let out a gasp, watching the ground suddenly pull farther away from me, and my knees touching the roof.

I couldn't bring myself to look up at him. He just stood in front of me. I could sense his arms crossed and his cold stare. But he didn't say anything. I think that was what hurt most. The tears this time didn't hold back. I buried my face into my hands, and just cried. I was happy about going home, but something hurt far worse than I ever thought it would. All my dreams about going home... when this is my home.

~*~

More or less I was shocked. I just got her to open up to me once again and ... it didn't matter. I wasn't sure if I was angry about having to lose her ... or the fact that she'd be happier with her family than around the others and me. She had certainly looked happy here, but I was no one when it came to being with her real family.

I felt bad enough for running out on her. I felt even worse when I sensed her presence on the ladder. She was the only one to climb that ladder and make that much noise at the same time. Part of me felt … thrilled. After I pulled her up onto the roof, I sat back down, staring at the sky. I couldn't think of anything to say to her. To calm her, or make her feel better, nothing. I was never good at that kind of stuff. I fight. It's all I've ever been able to really too.

She sat there, next to me, in silence as well. She didn't seem to mind. I liked having her near me. I finally hit me that this really could be the last time I got to see her. I glanced at her, to find she had closed her eyes and looking like she was out. No reason for her not to be. It was far from easy today. I don't know how attached she is to us, but knowing her, she'd care no matter what.

I sighed softly, reaching out towards her, just laying my hand on the side of her face. She didn't jump or open her eyes, she snuggled her face into my hand, muttering something about family. She… was family to me. Every time I pushed away, she came back.

" I love you."

~*~

We both fell asleep on the roof that night, for the next morning, I found myself transformed, lying on Tohru's stomach. She was awake already, stroking my fur and it took myself a moment to realize I was purring. She noticed I was awake, and started to find a way to apologize.

"It's alright. I don't mind." She simply watched me a moment, before smiling brightly. I loved that of hers. After a few minutes of content silence, I rolled of her stomach, and she must have gotten the hint. 

" I'll go and start breakfast. I'll see you in a bit." I nodded, feeling my transformation wear off just as her head disappeared from view. Good timing. I took no time into gathering up my clothing and slipping into my window to change. I practically raced down the stairs, greeted by my worst fear. Tohru turned to face, before looking at the ground.

" Kyou, these are my parents."

~*~

I guess it surprised him. He didn't say anything at first, just looked at my parents and then me. Tension in the room had grown so thick I wasn't sure I could move. My parents spoke to Shigure-kun while Kyou-kun remained mostly to himself. I stood there, as though I didn't belong anymore.

The more I thought about it, the harder it became. To think that this place so dear to me will no longer be my home. Before long, my parents sat down at the table with Shigure-kun and Sohma-kun as well. Before I knew it, I found myself in the kitchen, staring straight down at the sink.

I didn't realize until a moment later, that Kyou-kun was standing behind. His breathing was indifferent, almost nervous. I turned to face him, but his eyes were hidden under his bangs. I wanted him to look at me. He was my strength right now, even though I was afraid to tell him that. I didn't want to burden him with the thought of it all.

" I told you last night, but you… already fell asleep." I tilted my head slightly. _Told me … what?_ I thought deep in my mind. I thought it had been a dream, but if what he was saying was…

I looked up at him once again. He wasn't looking at me still, but I could see his eyes. They looked deep, troubled even. At first I thought it was because I refused to respond, but then he looked at me, his mouth open, but unable to give any sound. _He's trying to tell me something._

I took the last few steps to stand in front of him, putting both my hands on the side of his head, gently making him look at me.

" I love you too."

~*~

The rest of the evening was a blur to the Sohma family. Before any of them knew it, Tohru was standing in the doorway, between her parents as she waved. A few tears sat in her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. She was smiling, one arm from each parent around her. As quickly as everything turned around, they were gone. 

No longer any sight of the Honda family on the road. Shigure closed the door, looking at the two boys standing there. Yuki standing straight, arms crossed over his chest. Kyou stared off into another direction, slouching slightly without a sound. 

_" T-Tohru?"_

_" I mean it Kyou-kun. I love you."_

_" I love you too."_

That was it.

****************

Oh should I? I could leave this as it is … or I could go on…. Oh the possibilities! Please R&R!


	8. Small Author Note

Thank you to everyone who reviewed my story! I got so many people saying I should continue, however I'm not going to be posting up on this story. I've already started and posted one new chapter under the story You Set Me Free, with a second chapter already close on the finish. Thanks again for those of you who reviewed and I hope the continuation is just as good for you!

-- Samu/Garnet


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